Saturday, 26 October 2013

On Homesickness (A Rant)

You know, I can't remember if I've written about this before

*Goes to check archives*

Ok nope. And I'm pretty emotional now, so I'll be talking to myself (or to an imaginary interviewer, if that makes me sound saner) so that you can make sense of what's going on.

So why am I writing this? 

Well, lately, it seems as though one of my homesick (or to be accurate, gaidai-sick) friend has decided that I'm the perfect person to talk to. And while I try to be cheerful and sympathetic, I think it's sort of affected me, and I want to talk about a little bit about homesickness.

Are you sure you've ever been homesick? You're blog is too cheery! 

I'm actually the type to make the best of things. To my mom, I'm never homesick, because while my sister would text her at 2 in the morning to say "I miss home", I've never done that. To me, if I can't sleep at two from the homesickness, there's no way I'll be able to get up for school the next day. I'll call/text during business/waking hours kthxbai.

Which is another way of saying that I'm slightly more practical when I do get homesick. I try not to make a huge fuss of it (I admit, I fail sometimes. You can ask Rena about when I called her because I couldn't stand being lonely). When I do get homesick, I try to fill my days with activities and plans. If I force myself out of the house, I tend to feel happier after it.

So... Homesickness is bad? ):

No! I'm not saying that homesickness is bad. In fact, I want everyone to know that it's possible to feel homesick even when everything is going well. It's possible to feel lonely even though you have tons of awesome friends. It doesn't mean you don't have friends, it means that you miss your friends back home. It's possible to feel like you're out of your depth even if your classes are going well and you don't seem like you'll fail anything. It's normal - we're learning in a new country, in a new style, in a new language.

What makes you homesick then? 

For me, homesickness is triggered by really really tiny moments. My most recent bout of homsickness stems from the fact that I couldn't find the knitting needles I brought with me from Singapore. I'm ready to cry over something I can order online. Think about that for a while. Although thinking about it, I'm actually worried because my grandma's not feeling so good. So I suppose the needle thing is just the straw that breaks the camel's back.

Another trigger is when I think about my friends. You see, one of the strange things that I miss/get homesick about is the lack of guy friends here ('here' meaning Kyushu University). I don't know why, but most of my good friends here are girls, and yes, I know I was in and all girls school for the first 10 years of my schooling years, but I was the minority in AC! And the only girl in the robotics club. I mean, when I think about it, most of the friends I met in Singapore were guys.... (ok, this may be partly because the guys are stuck in Singapore during NS).

But still, I miss have guy friends that I can randomly sms things like "A little kid asked me who I was going to marry. I was like, I'm only 20 then I remembered that Elizabeth Bennet was only 19 when she married Mr Darcy" and not feel strange about it. (If you're one of my awesome friends, you know that I lurve you all <3)

Oh yeah, and the above text? I really did send it. To a few my friends and my cousins. One of my friends went "yeah, we're old. But tell them you're marrying a prince!" (my BFF Raychely, who also happens to be the only girl I sent this too). My other (guy) friends went "yup, that's random [admittedly, I prefaced it with a 'random message of the day' thing]" and "Hahahahaha, why?". For not freaking out, I give them imaginary stickers for awesomeness (I know at least one of the two of you read my blog! So here *sticks random sticker on your forehead*)

My cousins sent a random string of LINE stickers.

And let's not get started about food. It will end up with me wishing I learnt how to cook in Singapore.

Ok, enough. What are you going to do now? 

I'm going to make myself go for Kendo. I'll feel better once practice is over, and trust me, I really need a good night's rest.

Also, if I annoy you with text messages, please tell me. I know everyone has their own busy lives, so yeah, sometimes I randomly stop texting people cause I feel bad about annoying them.

My incredibly awesome cousins and siblings and I.
I wish I had a friends and family photo to post but....
(I shall do that next year, on my 21st birthday!) 

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